Writing to face fear (and learn in the process)
I hated English when I was growing up. When all my closest friends were learning English, I was arrogantly thinking: “I already know another language, so why should I bother learning English?” I grew up in Portugal, but I was born in France and spoke French at home for most of my childhood.
I realize now that I was completely wrong. I convinced myself I didn’t need English, but the fact that I already knew fluently two languages was only a gigantic excuse for the failure that I was afraid to experience. Let me explain.
I was never the top student in any subject, except for French. Even in French, I did poorly on writing and grammar. I knew spoken French, not written French. If you know French, you know they’re two different things.
By assuming I hated English, I only protected myself from mediocre grades. Like I defend my poor grades in Math by saying “I love words, not numbers”.
I was never the best student, but I always knew what I was good at. I was always one of the most dynamic students for presentations. I was the one skilled with computers (power point presentations, connecting devices, internet research, you name it). I was pretty good at connecting the dots between different subjects (even if I didn’t know the exact details of them).
Since I’m 10, I know HTML and CSS pretty well. I’ve made hundreds of Blogspot/UOL/LiveJournal templates. I learned Photoshop pretty early on. I used all the major social media networks, not because I wanted to create an audience or meet people, but because I was curious to see how they worked. I learned all this stuff by myself, simply by being curious and wanting to learn more.
When I was 19, I decided to go to Paris and study communication. But the career path I had in mind for myself wasn’t the one I ended up taking — and again, that’s something I figured out on my own. I’ve been freelancing since 2015, but I’ve never really been able to define myself professionally.
I work with HTML, CSS, JavaScript, and WordPress. I also write articles. I work on SEO, content marketing, and brand recognition strategies. I’ve created and helped create a bunch of online courses and online learning materials. I switch between logical and creative tasks, which means I have to use different skills. And if I was ashamed to myself for a long time because I couldn’t define myself, have a great LinkedIn title and make myself clear for work opportunities, today I’m embracing with pride the fact that I’m a polymath.
Thinking about what we know makes us think about what we want to learn and/or improve. And now, after almost 5 years living in California, I’ve come to accept that, even if my English level is way better compared to when I arrived here, I need to improve my writing and speaking skills. It’s not so much for others, who may be judging me for not having a better English proficiency, but I want to be more confident about myself and my work. Most importantly, it will make me think better.
I’ve figured out that writing is a great way to improve my English. I like doing it, it’s free and it makes me think in English. I’m not thinking of this as a goal, but as a system. Here's what I'm gonna do: I'm gonna try to write every day. Anne-Laure Le Cunff's work really inspired me, which you can check out here.
I started this experiment to get back into writing and to find my voice. I’m not a native speaker, so writing in English has always felt intimidating. I believe there is no better way to learn than to actively practice. — Anne-Laure Le Cunff
